What Is A Creative Divorce?
Inspiration for Creative Divorce
Larry Gaughan asked us to talk about what we thought it means to have a “creative divorce.” It was a great question, and after lots of thought, we created a short video for his website.
What is a Creative Divorce
In short, we believe divorce shouldn’t be a battle to win or lose. It’s not something to “just get through.” And it’s not something that happens “to you.” A creative divorce happens when you recognize that your relationship with your spouse has changed. You can either let it happen to you or accept that you have a right, maybe an obligation to correct any error you might make in your life. We borrowed from Albert Einstein and Joyce Brothers.
Four Areas of Choices
We identified 4 areas where you have choices when you “creatively divorce”:
- How you get from here to there. Mediation might be a good choice. Using the collaborative process might be a good choice. But realizing that there are several choices is the first step. For a creative divorce, pick a forum that has the greatest chance of preserving a cooperative relationship and your economic security.
- What decisions you make about the issues (e.g., support, parenting) affecting your unique situation. There aren’t limited menus for each of your choices. A creative divorce is about taking a full range of choices into account and picking the best one for you. A creative divorce doesn’t include a cookie-cutter.
- How flexible and fluid the process is. A creative divorce process will evolve as new information is learned and as you (and your spouse) discover that certain decisions made later in the process may need you alter decisions made earlier in the process.
- How you accept the responsibility to change your situation. You can keep doing the same thing and reacting the same way as you interact with your spouse even after you realize the relationship has changed, or you can decide to actively change your situation including the way you react.
Let us know what you think: