COMMUNITY & NEIGHBORHOOD MEDIATION

• Is her stuff in your yard?
• Does their yard make you wonder if tropical rainforests are springing up outside the Amazon?
• Does next door look like a used car lot or junk yard?
• How can you resolve conflicts with your neighbors and stay neighbors (or sell your house and move out)?

Litigation is expensive and time-consuming. It is a total distraction from the rest of your life. Responding to discovery creates apprehension for everyone and nothing else gets done.

Litigation occurs on everyone else's schedule: the other side's, the court's and your lawyer's.

If your dispute is with a neighbor, you can count on the relationship with the neighbor being jeopardized. And in a slow housing market, that may be for a long time. (Click here to see the article in the Washington Post in which Resolution Point was quoted.)

What can you do to resolve the conflict?

1. Learn your legal rights and responsibilities. Talk to a lawyer and your local government. For now, consider your lawyer or advisor as a resource, not a weapon.
2. Don't "trash talk" your neighbor with other neighbors, friends or online blogs. You may create so much animosity that nothing will got done calmly.
3. Don't rush into a conversation over the fence.
4. Do plan how you want to open the conversation and how you might respond to your neighbor's objections and concerns.
5. Do consider writing a letter (not an email). You will probably be more thoughtful and your neighbor will have a chance to think through a response.
6. Don't talk about why you're right and they're wrong. Talk about what your concerns and needs are.
   
7. Don't make threats. Don't mention that you've seen a lawyer. Nothing puts someone on the defensive faster.
   
8. Don't demand an immediate reaction. You probably won't like what you hear first.
9. Do suggest mediation.
10. Do suggest you both look into possible mediators. Offer to find the names of some mediators and suggest your neighbor does the same. Even if you have one you are ready to use, postpone providing the name until the second conversation.
11. Do remember that when you're done, your neighbor is the one person who you need to appreciate your perspective. Remember that "diplomacy is the art of getting someone to have your way!"
12. Do look for ways to met your neighbor's needs as well as your own.
13. Do remember your neighbor is probably not doing what's been bothering you just to annoy you (probably!). They may be unaware that anything's wrong.
14. Do remember that your neighbor may be your neighbor for a long time to come. How you resolve this issue will set the stage for future interactions. Even if you're trying to sell your house, the real estate market may cause you to stay neighbors for a long time!
    

While Resolution Point provides divorce mediation services, we are also very active with community and neighborhood mediation. At Resolution Point, you don’t have to choose between mediators who are lawyers or not, and between mediators who are certified or not. Our mediator, Daniel R. Burk, is:

• A lawyer admitted to practice in Virginia (1981) and the District of Columbia (1984).
• A certified mediator, certified by the Supreme Court of Virginia to receive court referrals from the Virginia Juvenile & Domestic Relations, General District and Circuit Courts. He is also certified to mentor mediators-in-training.
• A former business owner who sold his company in 2000 after almost 15 years of successful operation.
• Experienced with neighborhood mediations. In 2007, Mr. Burk mediated over 100 commercial and neighborhood mediations.
  

Every mediation is different and every mediator’s approach is different. Here’s what generally happens at Resolution Point.

The first time we meet, we will have an “Orientation Session” where we will talk about the mediation process in general and the specifics of how it usually takes place at Resolution Point. We will review an Agreement to Mediate and Ground Rules.

If you decide to mediate with Resolution Point, you can expect the process to look somewhat like what we've described at Mediation Basics. You'll also see some ideas on how to get ready at Getting Ready to Mediate.